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Should This Feel Like Work? (Vent Art)

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Temiree
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So long story short, I haven't been feeling very good about what I've been doing. The art that used to flow out of me feels more like work now than it does entertainment. Meanwhile, it's the end of the school year and animated student films are popping out of colleges all over. They all seem to be full of passion I don't seem to have, and enthusiasm I can't hold onto for very long.

Are these people having to fight as hard as I have to?
Are they genuinely having fun and I'm the one seeing what I do as work?
Am I ever going to reach that level before I burn out for good?

One of the student films that hit me the hardest was out of CalArts, by someone I used to talk to. It's incredible, but I couldn't stand to finish it because it was so good. It made me feel terrible. Of course that's not his intention, but it made me wonder why I can't stick with a project as long as he could. Given - it was for school, but it was his style and inspiration all the same. Could I make something as brilliant and entertaining in storytelling without the animation skills? Could I improve my craft enough so I could see folks like him eye to eye one day, instead of looking up from the feet of the giants? There's been a lot of questions in my head with no real answers, other than to study and try to improve further, and hope new abilities would make it fun for me once again.

I was tempted to contact him and ask him these things personally, but he's since moved on. He no longer watches me and I believe he's left DA. So it goes I guess.
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Comments45
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ScarboSheep's avatar
ScarboSheep

It's been ten years since you've said this, so I have no idea if your outlook has changed. But you wondered at the time...were you hitting your limits? Were you worthy?


Man, you remind me so much of Brahms right now. Johannes Brahms was one of the great German composers of the classical canon. But, like you, he was perfectionistic and was feeling a lot of doubt about his stuff, as you did in this moment. Why? Because Brahms always felt lower than Beethoven. I guess you were just feeling lower than this guy. Like you just were never GOING to be good enough even with extra effort.


But Brahms was different from Beethoven, so of course his output would be different. He only did 4 symphonies instead of 9, but his last two are some of the best out there. Brahms was, in my opinion, also a better orchestrator than Beethoven overall, despite the pioneering that Beethoven made in that realm.


So...yeah. It's like, I look at your story and am reminded about how Brahms felt about Beethoven, despite the fact that history looks back and considers them both two of the greats. Great in their own ways.